I would imagine that, right now, both Democrat and Republican politicians are finding out what it feels like to be a self-published author. By that I simply mean they know there are people out there who support them, like them, and occasionally give them money, but when it comes to showing up and making a big presence, nothing but crickets and the sound of a proud mom in the back clapping.
So, I would like to take a moment and accept the Brett Galen Convention’s nomination for Author of the Year. Here is my speech in different styles.
AUTHOR: Thank you so much for your support and your interest in my stories. There have been some interesting bumps along the way, but I am still striving to provide new stories and, yes, I am working on that one sequel you have been expecting for far too long.
POLITICIAN: Thank you so much for your support and interest in me. I am not like the other authors that could come and take this stage and you recognize that. I pledge to work on more stories that are relevant, impactful, and meaningful to your reader lives.
BLOGGER: Wow! It has really been a long road to get to this point. Thank you for nominating me, even though my book sales don’t reflect your — (gets microphone turned off and pulled from the stage)
Evil Villain in a YA Novel: Greetings and Salutations. On this, the precipice of a new era, it is with great pleasure that I accept your nomination as Author of the Year. This is only the beginning of a grand plan I have for the world of writing. It is upon this day that writing will forever change and novels, and yes even novellas, will turn and adapt to my winning and brilliant strategy. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha. (Throws cloak across face and runs offstage cackling)
Hero in a YA Novel: (Doesn’t show because he/she is too conflicted between taking credit for a well done job and revealing his/her true identity to the world)
Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful week. And don’t forget to accept your own convention’s nomination for Author of the Year.